It's January!! We all have weight loss and change on our minds! I'm no exception! But this year I'm thinking about from a different perspective.
I've seen family members struggle with weight and body image my whole life. I have 4 sisters. Do you have ANY idea how that is??? "I want to hang out with you and your friends!" "You're 8. You can't hang out with high school kids." "I want to wear lipstick and heels- your heels!" "YOU'RE EIGHT!!!!" "Ugh, I"m having a fat day." I just want a chips and a coke." "I'm going to walk on my toes all day so I have good calf muscles."
The point of that is, from a very young age I have, as many of you, have had mixed messages about bodies, weight, and healthy eating.
I remember being somewhere between 2nd and 4th grade, talking to a friend outside my house. I told her I was going to walk up and down my hill 30 times a day to get rid of my belly. No kid should have that on their minds!
Each year in junior high and high school, about a month before school started I would start exercising. I would work out in our basement, walk up the hills in the neighborhood, and jump on the elliptical.
Yet I've never gotten to where I ultimatley want to be. I always wonder what I'd look like with a six pack. Is that strange? Seriously for years now! So why haven't I made it happen? Um... a mix between not wanting it enough, not being consistant, and sheer laziness.
My real big push was once I graduated. I worked for a company that gave me a free gym pass (dang straight!!) so I started going more religiously. Last December, my mom and I bought the Pink Method. It's another workout program with a diet plan. All the same really. Hated the workouts. They had what was called the "Reset" though. For 7-10 days you'd eat a fruit smoothie in the morning, a salad/veggies and a lean protein for lunch, the same for dinner, and as many veggies as you wanted throughout the day. Day 1 I hated life. Gimme cheetos! Gimme garlic bread! (what?) Gimme pizza! But after that, I didn't really crave those things- as much! I ended up only doing it for 4 days but lost 4 pounds. It was the push I needed. It changed my thinking. I started being more conscious. I stayed the same till I discovered Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred.
I started that in July I believe. I was super dedicated to it! I knew Ian and I were going to Vegas in August (didn't know about the wedding part) and I wanted to wear a bikini. Judge me if you will! I woke up at 6:15 every morning and would do it before I went to work. I did it for about two and a half weeks and seriously... I've never seen results so quick! I felt fantastic! I wanted to keep it up! Not to mention, I was dressing so much cuter then because I felt so good about my body. I wore skirts and heels nearly every day. Then we decided to get married- after a Big Time Rush concert, romantic right??- and it kinda went to crap... Then we got married, came back home and my routine was shattered. I didn't want to leave my charming new roommate! I would work out probably....eh....well..... maybe once a week... sometimes fewer. I noticed I started dressing different. Boring really. Ian would bring home Ben and Jerry's Half Baked and I would eagerly grab a spoon! Lots of pizza, dinners out, ice cream, oreos, and holiday food later... I've decided enough!!
I read fitness blogs and weight loss blogs like they're going out of style! I have an addiction I think... I love before and after pictures. I love meal plans. I love recipes. I love writing down exercise circuits I will never actually do.
I read so much about no carb, low carb, clean eating, etc. Theoretically, I'd like to eat clean but let's not kid our selves, I love me some (everything)!! Today I did no carb. Kind of intentionally, kind of not. Breakfast was some egg muffin/cup business (eggs, tiny bit of cheese, ham, and spinached baked in muffin tins), lunch was a greek yogurt and Luna bar, another Luna protein bar around 2:30, some carrots and brocolli around 4, and a salad with chicken and caesar dressing for dinner. Can I just say THIS GIRL IS HANGRY!!!!!!!! This will not be an everyday occurance. Honestly, I've decided to be more food aware, as much clean eating as doable, but not beat my self up if I eat something not so great. I know if I tell myself no every time, I'll do a binge. So I'll be careful.
I also did 30 Day Shred for the first time since August. Shoot dang. It was rough. About 5 minutes in I had resolved to quit on account of being waaay too out of shape. Then that woman starts yelling at me..."Don't phone this in! You can work hard! Your body is stronger then you think!" Okay, okay! I'll keep going. This routine happen about every 5 minutes. It's a 26 minute video. Wahoo. So I finished and I felt really good about it.
This has been kind of a rambling post for me. I feel uncomfortable writing about weight and all of this. I feel like you either come off as braggy or a pity/attention party. I'm going for neither of those. This is what is on my mind and I think if you write about something, it becomes more clear.
P.S. I SCRAPED my salad dish clean. Like every minisucle of lettuce. Bless it. I'd lick a shoe for some steak fries.
